I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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