Soap is not a condiment
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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