Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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