yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
