i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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