So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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