Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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