would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
