I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
