I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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