So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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