why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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