I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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