She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
