The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We need to get me chipped asap
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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