you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
