Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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