and you said cock pushups were impossible
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
