I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
