The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
