"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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