He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
