I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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