as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
