The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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