if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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