i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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