I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize