And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
