where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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