there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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