And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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