Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
