I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just cropdusted the office
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
