talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
