I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
