I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize