Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
