Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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