we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize