all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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