I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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