He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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