im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
