I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Rumble strips road head = magical
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
