so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize