I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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