it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
