she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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