that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
