after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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