After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
