I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
