sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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