with your own penis?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
