how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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